Gentry's Frankenstein

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

I honestly sat at my desk trying to come up with something to say about these shoes and I honestly can say that there are no words that describe what I am feeling towards Jordan Brand at this moment. This is one of the MANY reasons why my Jordan Brand purchases have dramatically decreased since the Dub-Zero.

WTF?!?!

My "Beginning Moments"

I was standing in my closet shuffling shoe boxes when I pulled out my Air Jordan Begnning Moments Pack. I started to think about what this package meant to Michael Jordan and then sort of wondered - "What if I had a Beginning Moments Pack?". Then I began to think a little deeper.

I've never wanted to grow up. I still don't. I'm stuck in the '90s. I loved the '90s - early, mid and late - whether it was TV, clothes, music, friends, hangouts, or various other forms of pop culture, it all started in the '90s and that's where my childhood really began. I was very fortunate to grow up in an era that sort of defined what we see today. It's always fun to look back once in awhile and remember the things we used to do, the clothes we used to wear, our friends who've come and gone, and the times when life was so carefree. These are my "Beginnning Moments".

OLD LOVE
Super Nintendo / Starter snap-backs / sleepovers / water fights / OG Jordans / POGs / eraser-bit fights / Mortal Kombat II / Seattle trips / Cali trips / D2: Mighty Ducks / Hide n' Seek / Another Dimension Comics stores / Spider-Man: The Animated Series / T.G.I.F. on ABC / family parties / Shaq and Penny / Napster / Jordan and Pippen / Montell Jordan / My Temple house / Father Scollen Elementary / N64 / ghost stories / camping / her as a tomboy / Doc Martins / Death Row Records / "The Ball Game" / Bret Hart / Captain Planet / Street Fighter II / my Kuwahara stunt bike / Grounders / NWO Wolfpac / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / NBA on NBC / PSA Nightmare / USA Dream Team / Michigen Wolverines / Upperdeck trading cards / Biker Mice from Mars / Mondetta T-shirts / Theoren Fleury / Easy Street / Calgary 7 / Sun Ice windbreakers / Pop Rocks / WCW Nitro / acid washed jeans / D-Generation X / street hockey / Cross Colors / detention / Ed Whalen / Fresh Prince of Bel-Air / Motorola Star-Tac / Top Corner Hockey table / Mr. Sketch felt pens / Koko's Restaurant / Are You Afraid of the Dark / the Frisbee / G.I. Joe / Bel Biv Devoe / Disney Land / Home Alone movies / Video & Arcade Top 10 / Cavite Christmas Parties / Pro Stars / LA Gear light-ups / VHS / Transformers the Original Movie / Kriss Kross / Fairmont Vacations / cheap gas / Fido Dido / Go-Karting / Jr. Jays Club / no drama

NEW LOVE
college graduation / X-Box 360 / movie nights / road trips / Retro Jordans / high speed internet / Halo / travelling / BBQs / birthday parties / CSI / New Era fitted caps / Lifted Research Group clothing / playing ball / North East Customs / my BMW / SLAM Magazine / laptop computers / N.E.R.D. / Gravis bags / Foot Locker releases / New York / custom sneakers / blogging / You Tube / Beyond.ca / pubs / LCD flat panel TVs / ankle socks / freedom / money / dreams and ambitions / iPods / wisdom / Vitamin Water / camping / Kobe Bryant / Stussy / snowboarding / close friends / beer / UFC / Team SB / Las Vegas / G's to Gents / throwback jerseys / Premium Outlet malls / Casinos / Panorama trips / e-mail / my old Civic / Maxim Magazine / inline skating / graphic T-shirts / Shakers Family & Fun Centers / Will Farrell movies / Canadian Dollar / iPhones / carbon fiber / Hell's Kitchen / contact lenses / CDPs / Kanye West / Nike Hyperdunk / L-O-M-L's / fancy dinners / late night drives / credit cards / dark wash jeans / Transformers live-action movie / golf / getting drunk in 40 minutes / Spam cake / Jason Markk / days off work / Manny Pacquaio / Brooklyn Ava / white neighborhoods / Japanese Village / vacations / full-zip hoodies / Nike Talk / airsoft matches / X-Box Live / BMW M5 / night missions / Hawaii / Shake n' Bake / Spectrum Theater / DVD / finding H.E.R.

My Beginning Moments Pack
It starts off with my first pair of shoes ever. The Nike Sweet Dreams - white/baby blue - Size 0. Proof that I've rocked Nikes since day 1...Litterally! This was released in 1984 and originally came in a blue/pink/gold metal container, and was given to me as a gift from my uncle when I was a new born. Now, if only they made these booties into sneakers in men's sizes. Haha.

My second pair would most definitely be the Air Jordan VII - white/black/cardinal red - Size 12C. This pair was the first Air Jordan I've ever owned and in that exact colorway and size. Not sure how I came about getting them, but I remember rocking these as 'inside shoes' in the second grade at Father Scollen Elementary.

OG Nike Sweet Dreams
Air Jordan 7

Friday August 29 - The Night The Egoys Went Crazy

Let me tell you about the time all the egoys went crazy. It was a funny night. The kind of night that really had no structure and was pretty random; and things just kind of materialized on their very own. The day started ordinarily I woke up did some yard work and house keeping. I stepped out of the house to run sum errands and I came home with a fat lip (More on that later).

The Nights Players
J-Phkr (Jordan Dino)
Solediscretion(Arjay)
RonRon
Matt
John(Colombian 1)
Phil
And Me of course

5:00 ish

Stepped out the house with my bro and J-Phkr to run some errands and get some chores done around the city. The night pretty much started here and it was on a steady rise of awesomeness and debauchery. Went with J-Phkr to deposit some cash, return some video games hem some pants and get some grub. It was pretty uneventful except this (I'm assuming) fatherless black kid gave us some lip on the escalator. So I told Ron Ron to punch him in the face for me and steal his hat. He then threatened to chop of my balls to keep me from having kids, JOKES on YOU though....I don't want kids. Everything else went by pretty uneventful.

8:oo ish

Arrive at J-Phkrs house so the rehab can shower. Damn, I guess when you're full in paid you can get up whenever and shower whenever. Haha. So we ended up in the South Calgary, henceforth SoCal, so J can shower. I ended up chilling with J's sister Ashley and we chatted it up while waiting for the pretty boy to finish cleaning himself. Oh right I forgot, we were going to a pub that night - The Garage up in Eau Claire - but before we'd have to pop by Malborough to go and pick up the fourth player of the night, Arjay. We had to get him by 9:15 but before we left SoCal ( a good 20 ish minutes away) I had to take a dump. I hate it when you finish taking a dump and you realize that THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER! Luckily there was some kleenex, softest wipe my asshole has ever felt. So with my rectum emptied we were ready to rock out.

9:00 ish

Get Arjay and start making our way downtown. In the car we exchanged stories about crazy shit's we've taken. Someone had a liquid feta cheese shit story, someone else had to shit so bad that as soon as they pulled their pants down they sprayed all over the shower curtain and toilet and spent the next hour and a half cleaning that shit up...literally. There was also a story about the time someone sharted and had to throw out their underwear. Who'se stories were these? Well unless you were there to hear it you may never know who told what.

10:00 ish

We finally get to Garage and wait for Matt and Phil to show up to get the festivities going. We were pretty much out for the sake of Matt, seeing as he's been in Tdot for 8 months and moves up to Edmonton for school on Monday. Gadamn! So Matt and Phil show up and we start making our rounds through some pitchers of Kokanee Gold needless to say we get pretty juiced and then John shows up to add to the excitement. So after a good serving of beer and liquid cocaines we decided to dip.....from here on out time is a little hazy. I kind of lost track of time when I got smashed.

12:00 ish

Last Call at the garage, so we decide to jet and I had no idea where we were headed I just tagged along. We ended up at the French Maid. Now I have nothing against the peelers, I just don't find it to be as attractive as most people make it out to be. So the first 2 peelers were nothing special, seriously one was fat and the other looked old enough to have stripped her way through 2 degrees and a masters. Ron Ron found out that the older one was named Privelage but she was so horse faced I call her Hidalgo (henceforth). So we make our way outside and this is where the night get's interesting. Arjay tries stealing a hot dog from the hot dog later, he get's busted but she's game and laughs it off with us. We buy a butt load of dogs from her and tip her hella. Well I tip her hella....with everyone else's money. I gave the girl a 2 dollar tip because she gave me cheese. WTFYO! So we start walking back to the cars to get ready to go home. Game over. It's amazing how long a walk can be when you're bored and drunk. For no reason whatsoever I did the following. I smashed my hot dog on the back of a CRV. Just for laughs. Then I picked up a rock to throw at a car, but then Arjay started teasing me about girls so I threw it at his ear instead. Then I picked up another rock and threw it at a parked car, Ron Ron ran like liquid feta shit ("Oh Shit He's Got Another Rock!"). And then just about a block from the car we were all walking and Arjay had a bright idea to hit me in the face with a "Welcome" street sign...just in the back of my head. However just as he swung I turned around and the he hit me right in the mouth. Split my lip open and it was truly game over. I hunched over tears welling in my eyes, blood pouring profusely from my busted lip laughing and yelling in general shock over the hit. But seriously....a street sign. Why in the fuck would he hit me with a street sign. Gadamn. So when we get to the car I decide to give everyone one last present. I spit on the back of a car, and out comes this egoy ready to kick some ass. Sober Phil quickly defuses the situation...it probably wouldn't escalate I don't think the guy was game enough to take on 7 guys at once. And then just as we were ready to leave while the smokers were having one last smoke to cope with the sudden onset of stressers brought upon a 5 minute walk to the car a black girl and white guy walk up to us. The girl asks for a cigarette, sadly Phil has smoked his last one; but thankfully Arjay had one left, but it was menthol (yuck!). Oh and I don't smoke I just don't like methol. So I told her I'd smoke my own dick before I'd smoke methol. That's when the game really was over. She just went off. I quote..."I've never been with an Asian girl but that is not how you talk to her" she tossed her unlit cigarette on the ground and walked off. Oh ya she was also a prostitute, and the white guy was a client. The hooker stormed off leaving the white guy with us. We CB'd the BC (Cock Blocked the Booty Call), he gave her a quick "Go Fuck Yourself!" and went on his own way.

2:00 ish

I get home

9:00 ish

I wake up to this..............

SUPER-SIZE Fitted Caps by New Era

Couple days late, but oh well. Remember the special edition Starter caps back in the day with giant team logos? I remember us kids rocking Bulls, Magic and Suns Super-Size snapback caps on the daily, those were the sh*t. The super-size caps are back in fitted form! New Era and Stussy collab to bring you the latest for your collection available in a limited variety of colors. Pick yours up today at your local hat or Stussy store or online at amazingstore.com.

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And if you happen to visit Hawaii, check out their premier fitted-cap store, Fitted Hawaii for special Hawaii exclusive team caps and Fitted apparel.

Stay Clean

Jason Markk x NORT Special Edition Sneaker Solution

A follow-up on the FPOE's piece on Jason Markk's Premium Sneaker Solution. The more kicks I buy, the more I put on rotation, the more cleaning is required. I tried it for the first time today having had it for awhile fearing to Un-DS my kit. All I can say is, it works. My first wave of test peices consisted of:

Air Jordan IV (cool gray/metallic silv./black-var. mz) - nubuck

Jordan Cue (khaki/brown-white) - suede

Women's Jordan 23 Classic (white/fuschia-pink ribbon) - leather/cotton

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The most noticable difference came from the 23 Classics which is pictured below:

Before

After

This kit is perfect for the collector with a wide array of sneakers in different types of materials and colorways. Safe to use and very 'green' for the environment. More on the PHKR Shoesades.

Pictures courtesy of PHKR Blog

Meet The Team - Your FPOE's

Real Name: Francis Bustamante
Known Alias': Hot Pants, The FPOE
Age: 20
Likes: Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
Random Fact:

I reign supreme, so put your umbrellas upside down. Did you even catch the change in theme?

Real Name: Giselle Dino

Known Alias': Gizzy, Ashley

Age: 21

Dislikes: Drama Queens

Random Fact: Is not drunk in her picture.

Look for her to add what only a woman can to this blog. Pussified entries about feelings of love and commitment. It's good for guys to get in touch with their vaginalistic feelings.

Real Name: Jordan Dino

Known Alias': J-PHKR, JordanEG6

Age: 22 (He's only 21 in his mind)

Likes: Long walks on the beach and JB

Random Fact: Still wears his Red Onesie underneath his clothes. True Story.

Look for him to add things pertaining things mainly in the footwear department. Knowledgable cat - he'll keep you updated of future release dates.

Top 10 "Freshest" Quotes of the Week

Photo courtesy of Sony Pictures

I've decided to bring a little dose of comic relief to this blog.
Let me start by quoting the top 10 hilarious phrases that I've heard all week.

10. Brennen Huff (Will Ferrell - Step Brothers) and Dale Doback (John C. Reilly - Step Brothers) on getting their TV privelages taken away.

Brennen: "This house is a f*cking prison!"

Dale: "On Planet Bullsh*t!"

Brennen: "On the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!"

9. Brennen Huff (Will Ferrell - Step Brothers) and Dale Doback (John C. Reilly - Step Brothers) fighting/wrestling on the front lawn.

Brennen: "I tea-bagged your drum set"

Dale: (crying) "My drumset is a guy, that makes you gay, you f*cker!"

8. "You're a big, fat, curly-headed f*ck" - Brennen Huff (Will Ferrell -Step Brothers) to his step brother, Dale (John C. Reilly).

7. "He better not get in my face...or I'll drop that motherf*cker." - Brennen Huff (Will Ferrell - Step Brothers) on his new step-dad.

6. "It feels like a lightning bolt just struck the tip of my penis" - Brennen Huff (Will Ferrell - Step Brothers) on his step-brothers 'epiphany'.

5. "...Stop being a f*cking dinosaur and get a job!" - Robert Doback (Richard Jenkins - Step Brothers) quoting his father lecturing him as a child.
4. "...Dad...I'm only saying this because I love you....F*ck you!" - Dale Doback (John C. Reilly - Step Brothers) to his father when he's told to get a job and move out.
3. "Your voice sounds like a combination of Fergie and Jesus" - Dale Doback (John C. Reilly - Step Brothers) on his step-bothers singing ability.

2. "This is how we do it!" - Dale Doback (John C. Reilly - Step Brothers) singing Montell Jordan expressing his excitment on his new 'top bunk'.

And my number 1. hilarious quote of the week is...

1. "Ron....I'm ready!" - FPOE's mom calling her husband for some sweet lovin'.