Let me tell you about the time all the egoys went crazy. It was a funny night. The kind of night that really had no structure and was pretty random; and things just kind of materialized on their very own. The day started ordinarily I woke up did some yard work and house keeping. I stepped out of the house to run sum errands and I came home with a fat lip (More on that later).
The Nights Players
J-Phkr (Jordan Dino)
Solediscretion(Arjay)
RonRon
Matt
John(Colombian 1)
Phil
And Me of course
The Nights Players
J-Phkr (Jordan Dino)
Solediscretion(Arjay)
RonRon
Matt
John(Colombian 1)
Phil
And Me of course
5:00 ish
Stepped out the house with my bro and J-Phkr to run some errands and get some chores done around the city. The night pretty much started here and it was on a steady rise of awesomeness and debauchery. Went with J-Phkr to deposit some cash, return some video games hem some pants and get some grub. It was pretty uneventful except this (I'm assuming) fatherless black kid gave us some lip on the escalator. So I told Ron Ron to punch him in the face for me and steal his hat. He then threatened to chop of my balls to keep me from having kids, JOKES on YOU though....I don't want kids. Everything else went by pretty uneventful.
8:oo ish
Arrive at J-Phkrs house so the rehab can shower. Damn, I guess when you're full in paid you can get up whenever and shower whenever. Haha. So we ended up in the South Calgary, henceforth SoCal, so J can shower. I ended up chilling with J's sister Ashley and we chatted it up while waiting for the pretty boy to finish cleaning himself. Oh right I forgot, we were going to a pub that night - The Garage up in Eau Claire - but before we'd have to pop by Malborough to go and pick up the fourth player of the night, Arjay. We had to get him by 9:15 but before we left SoCal ( a good 20 ish minutes away) I had to take a dump. I hate it when you finish taking a dump and you realize that THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER! Luckily there was some kleenex, softest wipe my asshole has ever felt. So with my rectum emptied we were ready to rock out.
9:00 ish
Get Arjay and start making our way downtown. In the car we exchanged stories about crazy shit's we've taken. Someone had a liquid feta cheese shit story, someone else had to shit so bad that as soon as they pulled their pants down they sprayed all over the shower curtain and toilet and spent the next hour and a half cleaning that shit up...literally. There was also a story about the time someone sharted and had to throw out their underwear. Who'se stories were these? Well unless you were there to hear it you may never know who told what.
10:00 ish
We finally get to Garage and wait for Matt and Phil to show up to get the festivities going. We were pretty much out for the sake of Matt, seeing as he's been in Tdot for 8 months and moves up to Edmonton for school on Monday. Gadamn! So Matt and Phil show up and we start making our rounds through some pitchers of Kokanee Gold needless to say we get pretty juiced and then John shows up to add to the excitement. So after a good serving of beer and liquid cocaines we decided to dip.....from here on out time is a little hazy. I kind of lost track of time when I got smashed.
12:00 ish
Last Call at the garage, so we decide to jet and I had no idea where we were headed I just tagged along. We ended up at the French Maid. Now I have nothing against the peelers, I just don't find it to be as attractive as most people make it out to be. So the first 2 peelers were nothing special, seriously one was fat and the other looked old enough to have stripped her way through 2 degrees and a masters. Ron Ron found out that the older one was named Privelage but she was so horse faced I call her Hidalgo (henceforth). So we make our way outside and this is where the night get's interesting. Arjay tries stealing a hot dog from the hot dog later, he get's busted but she's game and laughs it off with us. We buy a butt load of dogs from her and tip her hella. Well I tip her hella....with everyone else's money. I gave the girl a 2 dollar tip because she gave me cheese. WTFYO! So we start walking back to the cars to get ready to go home. Game over. It's amazing how long a walk can be when you're bored and drunk. For no reason whatsoever I did the following. I smashed my hot dog on the back of a CRV. Just for laughs. Then I picked up a rock to throw at a car, but then Arjay started teasing me about girls so I threw it at his ear instead. Then I picked up another rock and threw it at a parked car, Ron Ron ran like liquid feta shit ("Oh Shit He's Got Another Rock!"). And then just about a block from the car we were all walking and Arjay had a bright idea to hit me in the face with a "Welcome" street sign...just in the back of my head. However just as he swung I turned around and the he hit me right in the mouth. Split my lip open and it was truly game over. I hunched over tears welling in my eyes, blood pouring profusely from my busted lip laughing and yelling in general shock over the hit. But seriously....a street sign. Why in the fuck would he hit me with a street sign. Gadamn. So when we get to the car I decide to give everyone one last present. I spit on the back of a car, and out comes this egoy ready to kick some ass. Sober Phil quickly defuses the situation...it probably wouldn't escalate I don't think the guy was game enough to take on 7 guys at once. And then just as we were ready to leave while the smokers were having one last smoke to cope with the sudden onset of stressers brought upon a 5 minute walk to the car a black girl and white guy walk up to us. The girl asks for a cigarette, sadly Phil has smoked his last one; but thankfully Arjay had one left, but it was menthol (yuck!). Oh and I don't smoke I just don't like methol. So I told her I'd smoke my own dick before I'd smoke methol. That's when the game really was over. She just went off. I quote..."I've never been with an Asian girl but that is not how you talk to her" she tossed her unlit cigarette on the ground and walked off. Oh ya she was also a prostitute, and the white guy was a client. The hooker stormed off leaving the white guy with us. We CB'd the BC (Cock Blocked the Booty Call), he gave her a quick "Go Fuck Yourself!" and went on his own way.
2:00 ish
I get home
9:00 ish
I wake up to this..............
Stepped out the house with my bro and J-Phkr to run some errands and get some chores done around the city. The night pretty much started here and it was on a steady rise of awesomeness and debauchery. Went with J-Phkr to deposit some cash, return some video games hem some pants and get some grub. It was pretty uneventful except this (I'm assuming) fatherless black kid gave us some lip on the escalator. So I told Ron Ron to punch him in the face for me and steal his hat. He then threatened to chop of my balls to keep me from having kids, JOKES on YOU though....I don't want kids. Everything else went by pretty uneventful.
8:oo ish
Arrive at J-Phkrs house so the rehab can shower. Damn, I guess when you're full in paid you can get up whenever and shower whenever. Haha. So we ended up in the South Calgary, henceforth SoCal, so J can shower. I ended up chilling with J's sister Ashley and we chatted it up while waiting for the pretty boy to finish cleaning himself. Oh right I forgot, we were going to a pub that night - The Garage up in Eau Claire - but before we'd have to pop by Malborough to go and pick up the fourth player of the night, Arjay. We had to get him by 9:15 but before we left SoCal ( a good 20 ish minutes away) I had to take a dump. I hate it when you finish taking a dump and you realize that THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER! Luckily there was some kleenex, softest wipe my asshole has ever felt. So with my rectum emptied we were ready to rock out.
9:00 ish
Get Arjay and start making our way downtown. In the car we exchanged stories about crazy shit's we've taken. Someone had a liquid feta cheese shit story, someone else had to shit so bad that as soon as they pulled their pants down they sprayed all over the shower curtain and toilet and spent the next hour and a half cleaning that shit up...literally. There was also a story about the time someone sharted and had to throw out their underwear. Who'se stories were these? Well unless you were there to hear it you may never know who told what.
10:00 ish
We finally get to Garage and wait for Matt and Phil to show up to get the festivities going. We were pretty much out for the sake of Matt, seeing as he's been in Tdot for 8 months and moves up to Edmonton for school on Monday. Gadamn! So Matt and Phil show up and we start making our rounds through some pitchers of Kokanee Gold needless to say we get pretty juiced and then John shows up to add to the excitement. So after a good serving of beer and liquid cocaines we decided to dip.....from here on out time is a little hazy. I kind of lost track of time when I got smashed.
12:00 ish
Last Call at the garage, so we decide to jet and I had no idea where we were headed I just tagged along. We ended up at the French Maid. Now I have nothing against the peelers, I just don't find it to be as attractive as most people make it out to be. So the first 2 peelers were nothing special, seriously one was fat and the other looked old enough to have stripped her way through 2 degrees and a masters. Ron Ron found out that the older one was named Privelage but she was so horse faced I call her Hidalgo (henceforth). So we make our way outside and this is where the night get's interesting. Arjay tries stealing a hot dog from the hot dog later, he get's busted but she's game and laughs it off with us. We buy a butt load of dogs from her and tip her hella. Well I tip her hella....with everyone else's money. I gave the girl a 2 dollar tip because she gave me cheese. WTFYO! So we start walking back to the cars to get ready to go home. Game over. It's amazing how long a walk can be when you're bored and drunk. For no reason whatsoever I did the following. I smashed my hot dog on the back of a CRV. Just for laughs. Then I picked up a rock to throw at a car, but then Arjay started teasing me about girls so I threw it at his ear instead. Then I picked up another rock and threw it at a parked car, Ron Ron ran like liquid feta shit ("Oh Shit He's Got Another Rock!"). And then just about a block from the car we were all walking and Arjay had a bright idea to hit me in the face with a "Welcome" street sign...just in the back of my head. However just as he swung I turned around and the he hit me right in the mouth. Split my lip open and it was truly game over. I hunched over tears welling in my eyes, blood pouring profusely from my busted lip laughing and yelling in general shock over the hit. But seriously....a street sign. Why in the fuck would he hit me with a street sign. Gadamn. So when we get to the car I decide to give everyone one last present. I spit on the back of a car, and out comes this egoy ready to kick some ass. Sober Phil quickly defuses the situation...it probably wouldn't escalate I don't think the guy was game enough to take on 7 guys at once. And then just as we were ready to leave while the smokers were having one last smoke to cope with the sudden onset of stressers brought upon a 5 minute walk to the car a black girl and white guy walk up to us. The girl asks for a cigarette, sadly Phil has smoked his last one; but thankfully Arjay had one left, but it was menthol (yuck!). Oh and I don't smoke I just don't like methol. So I told her I'd smoke my own dick before I'd smoke methol. That's when the game really was over. She just went off. I quote..."I've never been with an Asian girl but that is not how you talk to her" she tossed her unlit cigarette on the ground and walked off. Oh ya she was also a prostitute, and the white guy was a client. The hooker stormed off leaving the white guy with us. We CB'd the BC (Cock Blocked the Booty Call), he gave her a quick "Go Fuck Yourself!" and went on his own way.
2:00 ish
I get home
9:00 ish
I wake up to this..............
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