Whoppers or Maltesers?

It's a legitimate question. Which are better, Whoppers or Maltesers? I set out to find the answer. I went to the pharmacy here on campus and I got a pack of both. Now it would be nice to go into detail what distinctive qualities each chocolate has from each other but the truth of the matter is, there is no real difference between the 2. Anyone who says they can tell the difference is a FUCKING liar. I have both pack in my hand right now and I am carefully and very precisely mentally breaking down the tastes of the two. And they are near identical. I could probably tell the difference but that's because I have been doing this for the past hour or so. I have never eaten chocolate so slow before. The two only have really different after tastes. You know that taste you get when the chocolate and the crunchy stuff mix in your mouth? That's the only real distiction you have between the two. Maltesers have a more bold chocolate taste and the whoppers are a more subtle mix of the two. So to figure out "whose cuisine reigns supreme" I am gonna get all Iron Chef and grade the 2 chocolates in three categories: Taste, Crunchiness, and Overall (How well the chocolate works with itself). The taste test is based on the chocolate, and will be conducted by placing the candy in my mouth and just letting it melt. Crunchiness is a little more scientific, whichever produces the louder crunch while requiring the least amount of physical exertion. And bonus points goes out to whichever one sticks to my teeth the least. The overall part is just straight up the after taste. All scores are out of 10. So here we go:

First up

Whoppers

Taste I would give it 7/10. To me the chocolate taste a little on the cheap side. Kinda reminds me of like powdered chocolate as opposed to milk chocolate. Still tasty, just a little plain Jane.

Crunchiness 9/10 definately the crunchier of the 2. This is one of the few times where I prefer crunchier over less crunchy. As most people know I prefery things to be chewy.

Overall 8/10, the mixing of the malt and the chocolate is really delicious, but still tastes like cheap chocolate to me. But the blend of the 2 just really works, it's great. Still just a little Plain Jane.

Next Up:

Maltesers

Taste wise the chocolate is great, it's really creamy and it tastes of superiority. It's milky and creamy and tastes of real chocolate. I give it a an 8/10.

Crunchiness well it's just a a 6/10. Falls waaaaaay short of expectations, but it should be expected considering it claims to be a "light" snack.

Overall I give it a 9/10. The better tasting chocolate just wins it over for me. the Malt part and the chocolate part don't work as well together as Whoppers do, but the chocolate just tastes so much better.

so in Conclusion we have the Whoppers at 24/30, and Maltesers 23/30. I didn't expect it to be so close really. I thought Maltesers would edge out the Whoppers, but I guess things never really go as expected. Whoppers are better because it crunches better, that's the only reason why. But really I prefer the taste of Maltesers.

Case Closed. Problem Solved. I should have been studying.